Do I ever entertain thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him? Probably.

I serve a God that is infinite, eternal and almighty, but do I really regard Him as such? I do think so. But, daily do I act as though that’s true for me?

I think we often times don’t act as though it is true, and I would argue that’s because we’re self-consumed, narcissistic, stubborn, and all-around imperfect. And fair enough, but how do we get past that?

I said in the other post, it’s easy to see that some of our culture and worldview has crept in, and possibly muddled our view of God. For those who might not know what I mean by “worldview”, our worldview informs our personal, social, and political lives. It influences how we perceive ourselves, how we relate to others, how we adjust to adversity, and what we understand to be our purpose. Our worldview helps determine our values, our ethics, and our capacity for happiness. It helps us understand where we come from, our heritage; who we are, our identity; why we exist on this planet, our purpose; what drives us, our motivation; and where we are going, our destiny. And so, a worldview is not a bad thing.  But if our worldview gives a poor and inaccurate picture of God and faith, then something needs to be done.

Too often, it is easy for us to view God through the same lens we view people or through the lens that we experience the world. Too many people have painful experiences in this world, and too many people make statements like, “If God is good, then why is there so much suffering and evil?” Or, “Where was God when _____ happened?”
 Or, someone may even acknowledge God’s existence, but make a statement like “I cannot believe that, if there is a God, he be interested in us, an insignificant speck in the massive universe.” 
They’re all missing the point, I think. But, I don’t want to get into this argument. It would take too long. 
I want to address Christians and their view of God. I want to consider my view of God, and begin to get it right.

Now, I don’t get it right. I’ll be the first to admit it, and many of you are probably thinking “well duh, Luke, you clearly don’t. We know you.”

A.W. Tozer said that what comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.  The essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him.

“Amongst the sins to which the human heart is prone, hardly any other is more hateful to God than idolatry, for idolatry is at bottom a libel on His character. The idolatrous heart assumes that God is other than He is – in itself a monstrous sin – and substitutes for the true God one made after its own likeness. Always this God will conform to the image of the one who created it and will be base or pure, cruel or kind, according the moral state of the mind from which it emerges.

A god begotten in the shadows of a fallen heart will quite naturally be no true likeness of the true God…

…Let us beware lest we in our pride accept the erroneous notion that idolatry consists only in kneeling before visible objects of adoration, and that civilized peoples are therefore free from it. The essence of idolatry is the entertainment of thoughts about God that are unworthy of Him. It beings in the mind and may be present where no overt act of worship has taken place. “When they knew God,” wrote Paul, “they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.”

Then followed the worship of idols fashioned after the likeness of men and birds and beasts and creeping things. But this series of degrading acts began in the mind. Wrong ideas about God are not only the fountain from which the polluted waters of idolatry flow; they are themselves idolatrous. The idolater simply imagines things about God and acts as if they were true.”  -AW Tozer

I’m inclined to believe that the most important thoughts people can entertain are the ones about God. Even if they are bad, or incomplete, or just completely wrong, I do believe they are the most important thoughts that the person can have and should be reflecting on. All the problems that we could face in the world, the most important thing that we should wrestle with is, who is God, what is He like.

Because this question is of most importance, a right view of God should inform everything else that we do. Prayer, worship, service, love, sacrifice, even the menial aspects of life: they all must stem from our view of God, practical Christian living is at stake as well as our theological understanding. If our foundation is not solid, then sooner or later is will all collapse. Where we see Christian leaders fall, our Churches fail to act Christ-like, or even our own sin, it can likely be traced to a imperfect view of God.

I’m not there yet. And I’m not sure I’ll get there on this side of eternity, but I know that by God’s grace that I have been saved. Whew! But how do I view God right and in a way that is worthy of Him? How do I practically (in this life) get to that point, and give him the adoration that is His due?

Interestingly enough, even though we do not understand how magnificent and glorious God is, we still must try. Even though we praise and worship God incompletely, we’re still compelled to, because of his love and grace we should be driven to our knees in worship. And while we do not understand the holiness of God in its entirety, we are imparted with a knowledge of the holy through the Spirit and by His grace.

Lately, I have been reading from 1 Peter, and in it we are called to “be holy, for I am holy”. I’ve realized that this call needs to strike me the way that Isaiah was struck. I need to have a pain-filled cry, of absolute trembling, “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!” (Isaiah 6:5). We need to be disturbed by this call towards holiness, because we cannot grasp the true meaning of divine holiness.
I don’t think it can come from studying or gaining more knowledge. We know that faith is a gift from God (Ephesians 2:8), and this knowledge of God and His perfection can only come from the Holy Spirit illuminating our hearts.

I just want to be cautious, because my tendency is to place other things before God and I have been wrestling with the fact that I do not view God right. Here is where I have landed so far:

1. First and foremost, I need to recognize my sin and repent. It is difficult (understatement) to draw near to God with sin. Until we can see ourselves like God sees us, we are not likely to be bothered by our sin. But once we realize our depravity, God goes about sanctifying us.
2. We need to have an outright committal to follow Christ completely. A whole life dedicated to Christ in faith.
3. We need to walk in the Spirit, and having died to sin we are now alive in Christ. We need to throw off the desires of this world and chase after those things which allow us to pursue righteousness. For me that means community and being vulnerable.
4. We need to practice thinking about God. It may sound funny, but we are so self consumed that I don’t believe we really consider the majesty and glory of God enough. At least I don’t. We need to form habits that allow us to meditate on Him and His word.
5. Finally, (like #4) we need to worship. Because It Is Finished. God the Holy One, has sent his Son, who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

And so when met with the reality of a holy God, and the fact that there are created beings which “day and night they never stop saying: “‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty,’ who was, and is, and is to come”, I want to begin to view God rightly. By faith and obedience, by prayer and meditation, by hating sin and chasing righteousness. Like Moses (in Exodus 33), I know that no man can see God and live, SO I cling even more desperately to Christ, whose sacrifice has given me life, and by whom I am counted righteous.

“The instrument through which you see God is your whole self. And if a man’s self is not kept clean and bright, his glimpse of God will be blurred”
― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

 If the universe is not governed by an absolute goodness, then all our efforts are in the long run hopeless. But if it is, then we are making ourselves enemies to that goodness every day, and are not in the least likely to do any better tomorrow, and so our case is hopeless again. We cannot do without it, and we cannot do with it. God is the only comfort, He is also the supreme terror: the thing we most need and the thing we most want to hide from. He is our only possible ally, and we have made ourselves His enemies. Some people talk as if meeting the gaze of absolute goodness would be fun. They need to think again. They are still only playing with religion. Goodness is either the great safety or the great danger—according to the way you react to it. And we have reacted the wrong way.

Within Mere Christianity, Lewis argues against how most people view God or don’t view God, by the fact that they claim he doesn’t exist, or even if He does exist, God is absent. I think these views of God are even more present in our culture today. It is wishful thinking, and not rational or true Lewis will argue.

I think this idea of wishful thinking should be applied to christians. Even in the Church (as a whole) our thinking can be off and “wishful”. It’s easy to see that some of our culture and worldview has crept in, and possibly muddled our view of God. It is clear that some of what people call “christian” is not, but I want to challenge even our own view of God. That we not just have wishful thinking about who God is or how he works.

So, let us then, not play with religion, but test it and search scripture for truth. When we have a thought about God we need to ask if there’s a verse that supports it or if there is one that denies it.

October through December was a time of settling in for me. I quickly readjusted to work here, and became involved in ministry right where I had left off. I fell right into my routine of meeting regularly with the Community Health Group in Masese and the Women’s Beading Group, as well as dealing with medical emergencies and general health concerns in the slum. 

During my first 3 months here, I lived in 3 different houses and felt unsettled in that sense (living out of a suitcase for that long is never fun), and I was praying and looking for a more permanent option. In January God blessed me with a wonderful place. A friend of mine was returning to the USA and asked if I’d like to take over the lease to her small two-bedroom apartment. What a huge blessing, especially as the place was already fully furnished, even with a California king bed!

Since January, there have been some slight changes in my role here. And I’m excited. The Community Health Group that I am a part of, seems to have taken on its own identity. Internal leadership has developed over the last 6 months and that means Equip Uganda is able to have more of a consulting role within the group as opposed to outright leadership, direction and planning for it. The group has grown from 15 members to over 20 (consistent) members. On their own initiative they carried out a community health project, to clean, clear and widen a foot path to the local school, so children would no longer be walking near or in human waste. This is just one example of the beginnings of a Christ-centered, volunteer movement occurring in Masese. It trumps the selfishness, greed and hate that, at times, is rampant within the community. The group is an example for the whole community as it transcends tribe, tongue, and
denomination to show Christ’s love.

I’m blessed to have the opportunity to meet weekly with one of the leaders in the group, where we discuss faith and Biblical foundations. Right now we’re discussing the book of Job. Please pray for wisdom and understanding as we (Paul Okada and I) dig deep.

Other Prayer Requests:
-That I would be diligent and quick in my language learning, as it plays such an important role in relationship development.
-Another is that I can develop strong relationships with people in the slum that I work in.
-That God will provide the men he would like me to be discipling.
-Prayer for Paul (as I mentioned). He has a heart for God and to learn more from the Word, he also truly desires to help others and see growth in the slum (where he also lives). So please pray for Paul’s heart and wisdom and leadership.
-Please pray with us: That Masese as a whole would become Christ followers and stop rejecting the gospel. That God’s glory would be seen and His name praised. 

Karl Grebe is a legend in my book. His faithful service in Cameroon is an example we can all strive to follow. Dedication and commitment to One great passion. His love and work for the gospel cannot be measured.

The greatest need imagined is that of the nations, peoples, tribes, languages, and ethnic groups to hear the gospel of Jesus Christ and believe. Because the gospel of Jesus “is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek” (Rom. 1:16). And no one is saved without it. We must take on the mind of Christ—who came not to be served but to serve and give his life as a ransom for many.

“I make it my ambition to preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named, lest I build on someone else’s foundation, but as it is written, “Those who have never been told of him will see, and those who have never heard will understand.” – Romans 15:20-21

On most days, I wake up expecting to get a few things done. I plan to run errands around town, or take care of someone who is sick in Masese, meet with an individual, or a CHE meeting, etc… Nothing too spectacular. Most days start off really well.
But sometimes there are just those days, when over the course of the day things slowly unravel, and in reality, I expect the unraveling to happen most of the time. I role with the punches. I’m flexible.

But while I am usually prepared, sometimes my fallen nature just takes complete control. Things continue to pile up, and I lose focus on what’s important. I get self consumed, or I get works-righteous oriented. I lose sight of Christ and what He has done.

For example, there was one day not too long ago that I showed up in Masese and was ready to take care of a sick child, but then he couldn’t be found. In the process of looking for him, I continued to run into people needing medical attention, those asking for money, some fall-down-drunk, a kid who wants his leg amputated because of a parasitic infection, a baby with cerebral palsy, someone with the flu, etc. And it ALL starts to pile up.

By the end of the day, and after not finding the child I was originally looking for, I felt overwhelmed, but didn’t recognize it right away. After getting home, I realized that I didn’t have any real answers for most people. I realized that in reality, I couldn’t help any of them. But I was (and am) determined to help nonetheless.

My mood soured quickly, as I began thinking it through.

I began thinking about how I don’t have the resources, that my knowledge is limited, and that most of what I see on a regular basis I have never seen before. On top of it all, I can’t communicate with anyone clearly. Language is a major barrier and I am helpless without a translator. There I am, relating to another person through a second person, and it’s not very personal. It is secondhand most of the time and I feel so removed from the reality of the problem. And I REALLY don’t like that.

Once home, I realized that I felt completely helpless. To know that you’re helpless, desiring to do more but unable, can be incredibly disheartening.

Sitting and thinking about it, the Holy Spirit convicted me. At the time I was contemplating skipping Bible Study, but then I began to think about the chapter that we were studying, 2 Corinthians 11. Suddenly, I realized how much I had missed the mark.

I realized how self-centered I’d been, how works-based and performance driven I was being. That I was in fact helpless. In ALL and EVERY circumstance. That any control I’ve ever felt in life, was only assumed, imagined, a sham. I truly am helpless, and only by the grace of God am I able to do anything. Especially, to simply live and work in Uganda.

And there I was feeling helpless, thinking on 2 Corinthians 10, 11, and 12. These chapters are all about boasting. And in who? God. And why? Because we’re helpless apart from Him. It couldn’t have been better timing.

At that moment I could claim helplessness and weakness, and be thankful. My frustration and shame at not being able to help more people suddenly melted away. I was left only to stand on the truth of Christ. I could boast in Christ. And it was good and enriching for the soul. It was important, because the very next day and on most days, I run into similar situations. Instead of getting overwhelmed, annoyed with myself, or so driven that I forget to pray or meet with someone personally, now I remember to rest on Christ. I’m encouraged to remember my daily reliance on Him, the common grace afforded to me, and the importance of prayer and thanksgiving.

The God who made the world and everything in it, being Lord of heaven and earth, does not live in temples made by man, nor is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives to all mankind life and breath and everything. – Acts 17:24-25

for “‘In him we live and move and have our being’” – Acts 17:28

The day is coming when there will be a re-made universe infinitely greater than this one.
When you feel that you are failing, when you feel that this world is not enough, or that there must be more to this life, take heart because there is more.
Christ has overcome.

It may feel like one of those days when nothing seems to go right. All plans are for naught, it even may seem to have no end in sight, and it seems to only to be getting worse.

Rest in the truth of scripture. God says, “I am with you always!” (Matt 28:20) and “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Wow, those are promises that won’t be broken.
So on those days of discouragement, those days of despair, the days of heartache, or just general gloom, please remember that there is more. There is more to this life.

We have been made for more than this world. And it has been declared, “It is finished!” So we must remember, we are not fighting FOR victory. Christ has declared it finished, and so we are fighting FROM a place of victory. Rest in scripture, the promises of God, and the fact that He has finished it.

And so it now remains with us to trust in that, to believe and follow, regardless of our current state, to press on and persevere to the Glory of God.

John 16:33
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

As I’ve quickly become resettled, I can’t help but reflect on the last year. It has just been over a year since I first set foot in Uganda. I vividly remember stepping off the plane onto Ugandan soil for that first time, excitement and anticipation were overwhelming prior to landing, but they were suddenly gone once I took that first step. It’s hard to explain, but the warm, humid air that instantly enveloped me dissipated all worry and questioning of the unknown.

All that I was dealing with prior to arriving in Uganda was instantly replaced with an intense feeling of “home”. You might argue that the red dirt that instantly clings to your feet, or the absence of orderly lines, or even the equatorial sun, would all remind me of the place I called “home” for the first 18 years of my life. But to be perfectly honest, Cameroon and Congo-Brazzaville never truly felt like home to me. The memories of growing up in Africa I’ll always cherish and thank God for, I wouldn’t change my life for anything, but they were simply never truly home.

However, that first step onto Ugandan soil, strangely enough, home was the first thought to cross my mind. An inner “this is home”, and then an overwhelming peace and readiness to simply take the next step forward.

I can’t help but smile at how God has worked. I can’t even put into words the faithfulness that He has shown over the last year.

Today I went back to read through the first blog post (October 27, 2011) that I wrote about my initial visit to Uganda, all I could do was laugh. There it was in orange text, John 15, the exact chapter that I’ve been studying and reflecting on for the last two weeks. The exact chapter that I encouraged a friend with 3 days ago. The same chapter that I’ll open with when a bible study with a few men in Masese begins.

And I would just like to end with the same words that opened my first Ugandan blog post, because they are still ringing true for me. There is still plenty that is unknown and so…

“It is a beautiful thing to be at the mercy of God. It is absolutely wonderful. To lay everything at his feet. Abiding in and relying on him. There is nothing better than that.”

I’m excited to let you all know that I’ll be leaving for Uganda on October 15. I’ve been released to go by my mission (Equip International) and have purchased a ticket. Even though I have been released to go, I am still a bit short of what I need for monthly support. Please pray with me that the rest will come in. I have committed to being there for two years. I’m not sure what God has in store for the coming months, but I’m excited to be on this journey. My prayer is that I would become more satisfied in all that God is, that I might be a servant of love, and that I would proclaim the gospel to those who haven’t heard.
The realization came to me the other day, “If Christ died for you and took your sin, the greatest thing ever done, won’t He also fulfill all His other promises?” So I am resting on His promises. 

Just to bring you all up to date and to answer some questions you might have:
Why Jinja, Uganda and the Masese slum?  God put it on my heart and brought me there.  I have prayed for Uganda for a year and a half.  Some doors had closed to serving there.  Last October, I joined a short-term trip to South Sudan, but when we were unable to enter South Sudan, I ended up spending time in Jinja.  There were many confirmations there; one man from the slums in particular affirmed my calling to return and continue the work there.  I have a heart for the poor and oppressed and Masese has some of the worst conditions I have ever seen, even having grown up in Africa.  The people desire change, and they need the gospel.

What will you be doing these next two years?  A variety of things actually. What I’ll likely be doing mostly will include community health and education, medical assistance, business and micro-finance initiatives, discipling, and hopefully preparing for a church plant.

What is your team’s strategy?  To partner with and equip locals, eventually turning the work over to them.  There are a few young men in whom we see a lot of potential, and there is a small group of individuals that truly desire change in their community, so we will be discipling them and hoping to equip them as leaders.

What obstacles will you face?  Hardened hearts.  Some people see us as a means to an end.  The issues are so great (alcohol, prostitution, medical problems, etc.) that it feels like putting a bandaid on a severed arm.  There are 7 different ethnic groups in the slum, very little unity, backbiting, revenge-seeking, jealousy…so development work is very difficult.

So, why even try?  There is hope!  Jesus didn’t come to heal the healthy, but the sick.  The gospel will be and must be preached, and only in Christ will there be freedom.  There’s no greater message than that!  

 “Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow.” ~ Isaiah 1:18

What a promise! That God would choose to redeem the broken and sinful, and bring them into His fold.

Thank you for your continued prayers as I go.